November Rain, December Fall

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So many things happened these part few months for me. Most of the things are rather heart-breaking.

I have not been able to blog recently. I have many pending reviews that I have yet to publish. I have another phone to review but that will have to wait as well. In-fact, I have lots of things to blog about. But this blog post will sum up as the reason on why I delayed on my posts.

From the beginning of November up to the current date, things are pretty down for me. First one was in the beginning of November, actual date was 31st October but I will refer that here as early November. That was when I had my first mini “heart attack”. Initially it was diagnosed as unstable angina. All the symptoms were pointing to heart attack so I was admitted to the hospital for 5 days. I was discharged after 5 days but 4 days later, a second attack took place and I was admitted again for another 5 days. This time I went through some of the necessary tests such as stress test and echo cardiogram. I passed with flying colours. Doctors then concluded that the cause of my chest pain is due to pericarditis, which is an inflammation on the surface of the heart which also has the same symptoms as angina.

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I’m thankful for that. Thankful that I don’t have any blockage or anytime serious. But I have to watch what I eat from now on because the third attack came again about a week ago. This time I refused admission, but I comply to them when they request that I stay at the hospital for a night for monitoring. I will go for a CT angio scan to see whether the problem is really serious or not because it happened again after a whole month.

Apart from my physical heart condition, it got hurt emotionally too. Two things happened that broke my heart into pieces. One is relationship, the other is the passing of my beloved father on 11th December 2014. I will not talk about my relationship because that is something I should be able to cope up with. But the story about my father is something I feel that I would love to share.

Screen Shot 2014-12-30 at 5.15.35 PMMy father was my biggest fan, my biggest and most loyal supporter. Not forgetting my biggest financier as well when it comes to my early career in bowling. I started bowling at the age of 11. Dad would bring me to the nearest bowling alley in Holiday Villa club located not far from our house in Subang Jaya. I was then spotted by one of the national coach, Mr Allan Lee, who happens to be there while I was bowling. He said that my talent in bowling will go far and he invited me to join his youth programme under the National Sports Council flag. So I did. And from that moment onwards, my dad became my biggest fan and supporter.

During my career being an upcoming young bowler, my dad has spent countless of hours to make sure that I have all the training that I can get. Not to mention all the money he has spent on me which includes game fees, travel cost, bowling equipments and tournament fees. He sees all this as his contribution for my better future as a bowler. And it did not go to waste. I won my first tournament, which is actually a men’s event instead of a youth event at the age of 14. I was then included in the Malaysian National Youth Squad at that age, and I was the youngest among all.

My career went on a very fast pace. All thanks to my dad who would bring me to as many bowling alleys as we can so that I am trained to adapt to different types of environment and lane conditions. Thing is, those bowling alleys were not just those in the Klang Valley but we went all over the Peninsula Malaysia to look for a bowling alley. At the most, we even went to Singapore to test out the lanes and also to compete in some international tournaments on the island such as the famous Super Classic at Orchard Bowl and also the Santa Claus Open at Victor’s Superbowl. I was only 15 then. But my dad went through so much so that I can train myself to be the best bowler in the country.

And then thing went downhill for his business. But he still want to see me excel in my bowling career. He never stop supporting me and even went through loans so that I can compete in tournaments. I continued on as a national bowler until I was 23. That was the end of my national career. But my dad never gave up. It does not matter to him if I’m no longer in the national team. I can still continue bowling on my own. He would follow me to wherever I go. Even during his most difficult times, he will not miss an opportunity to watch me compete in any tournament. I think he has spent countless money and time for me especially during my 12 years bowling career.

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He was my biggest fan, my biggest supporter. I’m sad that during the last few years, all he wanted to do is to watch me throw the ball again. He didn’t get that chance to see me play for the very last time because he fell sick suddenly and his health condition deteriorate too fast. I should have invited him to watch me compete in a tournament last August. But he lives too far from the bowling alley that I don’t want to trouble him to drive that far and at night. But yeah, I knew that was one of his final wishes, to watch me bowl for the last time.

My dad and together with my mum also made an attempt to travel to Mekah, Saudi Arabia by land in their 16 year old Mitsubishi Pajero. But their journey was short-lived because they were unable to enter China, one of the countries that my dad would love to visit. They went off on their journey during the month of Ramadhan in 2013. But they managed to come back from two months after they left. If only they are able to enter China, they would have been in Mekah by now. But fate has it that they were meant to come back. [Facebook page]

On 11th December 2014, he left us peacefully in his sleep at 7.20am. It was the saddest moment of my life because I have lost my biggest fan and supporter, a loving father and a great mentor. I love you dad. Rest well. Al-Fatihah.

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2014 is a sad year for all of us Malaysians, and it had to end the last two months with more sadness on my end. And for 2015…bring it on!


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Article written by K. Azwan

To simply put it, I am a web and graphic designer by profession, a cook by passion, a blogger & photographer by hobby and a bowler by reputation. I am a geek ever since I started using the PC back in the late 80`s. Now I blog and review just to kill time. And because I love writing too.

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